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A CurtainUp 
London Review
London ReviewAn Evening with Arnold Schwarzenegger
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"If we han't had Schwartaenegger, we would have had to build him!" — A comment on Conan the Barbarian
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The Governator (Photo: Yui Mok/PA) |
The more expensive seats with green wrist bands were awarded a 15 second photo opportunity with the star; those in the cheap seats had to settle for a photo with one of two Arnie waxworks from the Terminator films in the lobby bar. The audience were an interesting mix and due to the show starting over an hour late I had plenty of time to study them. Many were in full evening dress ignoring the smart casual dress code. Lots were movie fans, mostly men, who could produce an Arnie quote for every occasion. "Get to the chopper!" was the favourite when the wait seemed to go on forever. Some by their sheer bulk and bull necks are or had been bodybuilders. Arnold told us he still works out at least once a day for 45 minutes and more often, twice a day, keeping himself in shape ready to make Terminator 5.
Jonathan Ross was to interview him but first we watched a 10 minute film summarizing Arnold's wonderful rise and rise and rise. Then we had a 20 minute monologue from the star using words like passion, vision, inspiring and dream a lot. Ross, usually good naturedly skewering his celebrity interviewees, was distinctly outside his comfort zone and not allowed to ask anything that might produce anything other than more of the same. The nearest Ross got to criticism was saying that he greatly enjoyed Terminators 1 and 2 and was immediately picked up by Arnold asking ". . .and not Terminator 3?" A wry face from Jonathan Ross and laughter from the audience.
We heard about Arnold's deprived childhood in an Austria ruined by the war and of his begging for food from farmers. We heard about his relationship with his father who wished that he would go and build muscles doing something useful like chopping wood, rather than just building muscles. How difficult must it have been to get enough protein.
He told very amusing stories about his career in the Austrian (?) army as a 19 year old tank driver and how the punishment for reversing the tank into a wall and demolishing it was to be put into solitary for one night and then on kitchen duties where he could easily secure a diet fit for bodybuilders.
Two months before he died Mr Schwarzenegger the elder, as his son won the Mr Olympia contest in London for the nth time, said he was proud and understood why Arnold had trained so hard.
We heard how casting agents initially found him overdeveloped (laughter) when Hollywood's sexy guys were small guys like Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino and Woody Allen (more laughter). He also talked about the feud with Sly Stallone and how they made up when they became partners in the Planet Hollywood restaurants.
About the end of his marriage, he said he regretted his bad behavior but then turned this too into a positive when he described how he and his wife had put their children first and been together with the children, even when they were going through the divorce. We really learnt very little that hasn't already been documented and much of it could have come out of a motivational textbook.
He was asked about the developments in professional bodybuilding and said he regretted the loss of posing to the sport and the rise of size as the only winning criteria.
The floor were allowed to ask questions and I put my hand up ready to ask, "You must have had offers to appear on stage in a play, what would tempt you to accept?" but another theatre critic got in first asked something vague about theatre and he dodged the question by saying if there was a choice between being Governor of California and appearing in a play, he would choose the governorship. He then spoke at length about his efforts promoting sporting activities and athletics and the scholarship at USC where two of his children study. If I had asked my question I was dreading him coming back, putting me on the spot and saying which part could you see me in? I was ready with a makeshift answer, Captain von Trapp in the real story of the von Trapp family, not The Sound of Music version. After all, his Austrian accent would be perfect.
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| An Evening with Arnold Schwarzenegger
Co-ordinated by Anthony Josephedes Executive Producer: Rocco Buonvino Moderator: Jonathan Ross Host: Rebecca Cooper Show Management: Chas DaBat Visuals: Ben Douglas One night only appearances world wide. Reviewed by Lizzie Loveridge based on 15th November 2014 performance at the Lancaster Hotel, Lancaster Gate, London W2 |
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